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Cultural Parenting
Cultural parenting: "I want my child to be independent. So when she talks back to me, I see that as a sign of independence..."
What???
Parenting rule: It is NEVER acceptable for your child to be disrespectful to you. That doesn't mean parents/children always agree, but it does mean it is never right for a child to tell parents to "Shut-up!" (or worse).
Sadly, the language of disrespect has become common (kids see it on TV and pick up the same from their peers). Make a line in the sand decision not to allow disrespect in your home.
How do you cultivate independence without encouraging disrespect? Deuteronomy 6:7 -"Talk of them (things of God) when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down and rise up." Dinner table conversations, car rides, talks at bedtime, etc., are everyday opportunities to discuss how you can dislike something without disrespecting the person with whom you disagree.
Teach your kids the art of disrespecting respectfully.
It is a much-needed skill that builds healthy independence without hostility. Once the precedence is set, it bleeds over into parent-child disagreements and lessens the rude behavior and disrespectful bickering seen in the homes of their peers.
Back talking and disrespect... Stop it before it ever starts.
