Articles From Our Bulletins
Learning Obedience
Children who struggle with (or never hear) “Because I said so!” as an answer to “Why do I have to do this?” will likely never learn submission and obedience as adults in several areas, not the least of which is in spiritual realm. But, “Because I said so” is exactly what must be understood, depending of course, upon exactly who the “I” is. Note Colossians 3:20, “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord” together with Ephesians 6:1, “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” The obvious conclusion is that children are to obey their parents as long as the parents’ requirements don’t violate what is “right,” or “in the Lord” (i.e. unless and until obedience to parents would be disobedience to the Lord). When parents are doing what they should to “bring up your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” as Ephesians 6:4 demands, they (the parents) become agents of God doing His will. If the child is old enough to understand these things, by all means explain it to him or her. Otherwise, “Because I said so” is sufficient… and ultimately, not only proper but helpful.
What these things are emphasizing is that submission/obedience is a “learned” behavior that must be first taught and instilled by the parents. Then as the child grows and matures, it can be further developed personally in spiritual and other more adult applications. Initially especially, it’s hard work demanding persistence, consistency and love. There is no pill that will produce it. But early dedication in these regards lays a foundation from which adult submission and obedience to higher authorities than parents are more easily developed and accepted.
So, given these things, what are the steps by which submission/obedience are learned (first as children, then further developed as adults)? It seems these basics are essential to the process of learning obedience:
Step 1- Learn the law. Knowing right necessarily precedes doing right. We can’t obey what we don’t know. Therefore, knowing “the right thing” simply must come first, cf. James 4:17; Matthew 22:29. Though diligence is definitely required (2Timothy 2:15), this first step is the easiest. To illustrate the point: Which is easier to teach a child what is right, or to get them to do it? So…
Step 2- Develop a desire to obey. Just knowing right doesn’t necessarily mean you want to or are willing to do right. The desire to submit/obey comes from understanding and believing in the value of the Scriptures/law, and therefore doing right, John 2:22. In children, the perception of this value comes from positive reinforcement (reward) and negative consequences (punishment). For adults and in the spiritual realm, value is perceived in much the same way- though the rewards/punishments are future and eternal rather than immediate and temporal, 2Corinthians 5:19-10.
Step 3- Be willing to submit. Just because one knows what is right, and even wants to do what is right, does not mean that he is willing to give up his own way and submit himself to obedience. Therefore, to obey, we must be willing to set aside self and selfish desires. Then, knowing and understanding what is right can unite with the desire to please Him to produce obedience, Colossians 1:9-10. Otherwise, desiring or insisting on “my way” puts us at odds with God, and obviously precludes obedience, cf. Matthew 16:23-24. “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Submit therefore to God,” James 4:6-7.
Step 4- Do the right thing on purpose. We can’t accidentally or unintentionally “obey.” Accidental compliance isn’t really obedience, since true obedience includes submission (being willing to order or arrange oneself under the control/guidance of another). Similarly, compliance that is forced- where the right thing is done but not for the right reason, isn’t “obedience” either. To truly obey, we must do the right thing for the right reason, cf. Ephesians 5:10 and John 13:17.
Step 5- Do the right thing even when it has negative temporal consequences. This is the coup de grace of selfish disobedience. If we: know the law; desire to obey it; are willing to submit to it; and purposely do the right thing even when it has negative temporal consequences, we have “learned obedience.” Note Hebrews 5:8-9 where of Jesus it reads, “although He was a Son, He learned obedience from the things which He suffered; and having been made perfect; He became to all who obey Him the source of eternal salvation.” Jesus: knew what was right; desired to obey; was willing to submit Himself to God’s will; and purposely did the right thing despite suffering negative temporal consequences. That is not only “how” true obedience is learned, that is “when” true obedience is learned.
Do you “have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus” to “empty” and “humble” yourself to become “obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross,” Philippians 2:5-8? Friend, that’s exactly what “learning obedience” requires!
- Obedience_Learning.pdf (89.33 kB)
